That time I was a lesbian for 12 minutes (AKA. Exploring My Sexuality)

I believe sexuality isn't a choice, nor is it something you grow into or out of. Your preference is always there, just some people take a bit longer to realise theirs than others. I'm still not sure I know mine yet.

I was a late bloomer. In the sexual sense, I mean. My boobs and period came in hella early and I'm still bitter about it. I remember my Year 4 teacher asking me if I'd considered training bras before and I was mortified. It's funny what stays with you.

At primary school whilst the other girls were obsessively playing 'Catch & Kiss', I was putting glue on my hands and peeling it off like it was skin. At high school when girls were doing anything to get a boy to like them, I was happy tidying up the mess that algebra made. *sigh* I miss those days.

My first sexual experience happened in year 5 (or 6?). I have no idea how it came about, but a new girl that I'd quickly befriended got me into dry-humping. She was alllll about it. First my pillow when we'd have sleepovers, then it got hardcore when we were rubbing our clits intensively on tree trunks in the playground... Yeah. Not sure how that was enjoyable, and also: splinters, much?

My first pash was with a girl too. We were in Year 10 (or 11?), her parents were away, we were drinking Midori Illusions (*vom*) and she launched at me. I didn't love it but I put that down to not knowing what I was doing so it would've been a bad kiss with anyone. In her defense, she was trying to encourage the boy who I had a crush on to kiss me so whilst her tongue was in the wrong place, her heart wasn't. He ended up kissing me not long after and we dated until I went to uni. Credit where credit is due, Matchmaker!

Speaking of uni, not long after my crush and I broke up, a new friend and I decided to have a nap together at our friend's place after a long post-lecture beach session. She asked me to spoon her, which I was happy to do, and not long into the nap, I found myself with my hand in her bikini top. She didn't protest, but I brushed it off as a joke anyway saying I'd just broken up with someone and was missing intimate touch. It was kind of true.

Amazingly, it didn't change our friendship.

The following year, I was at a Bucket Party (everyone brings a bottle of something and empties it into a communal bucket - SO dangerous) and although I'd been invited there by a guy who I'd been hooking up with for a bit, I found myself plastered, vigorously making out with my female friend in the long bathroom queue.

She was wearing tiny denim shorts and I pointed out I could see her flaps in them and to prove it, I pressed my fingers against her lips. She pressed her hand against mine and my fingers remained in her undies whilst I pretended to know what I was doing. It ended when a stranger kindly informed us the bathroom was free.

For a long time I thought maybe I'd been born gay but it'd been suppressed by my staunchly religious upbringing. Over the years I've realised I'm not gay (not ruling out Bi though) but that growing up with four sisters, going to an all-girls high school and being surrounded by amazing women at uni and work just meant I was much more comfortable around women than men. Even to the point of exploring my sexuality with them. Thank Oprah for the Sisterhood (women being there for women in general, not the Priceline loyalty program, though that is also excellent)!

My friends from Pashgate, Bikinigate and Fingergate all went on to marry men and have lots of kids so I'm guessing it was just an experimental time for them too? Glad we could be there for each other.